Reflection.

I have not experienced any personal deaths or tragedies (Grandpas died before I was born, never got a chance / get chances to grow close to my Grandmas, no pet deaths yet, etc), I am not depressive.

However, life has felt extremely empty to me for most of my days. I've abandoned many of my childhood dreams upon realizing I had no capability of achieving them. I could not find passion - or loss - in anything. Life was bland, linear. I was 'going through the motions' (just writing that sentence upsets me).

I major in Psychology. The first big thing that has helped me steer off of the straight, vacant road that was my life was taking an elective in Positive Psychology - pretty much the opposite of what Psychology has turned into these days.

The most relevant thing I got out of that was Mindfulness. Simply put, being /aware/. Not trying to change anything, just.. being aware of all things in life. All things good, and definitely, all things bad. Mindfulness is not being numb to everything, it is the exact opposite. It is ok to be sad. Be aware of it. Notice how you feel, notice your thoughts. But never dwell on it. Notice things, let them pass. Life is certainly something beautiful - once you take the time to notice it. When you can really /see/ things, oftentimes you'll become awestruck, at peace.

Unfortunate events, while indeed crushing, are necessary to lead a rich life. Something that really stuck by me was being pointed out that without bad things, how can good things be good? Without black and white, there is no colour. Unfortunate events provide for us not only enhancement of good things, but also room for learning and growth. Thus, just by being aware of things, my life already did not seem so empty anymore. I still have no goals or direction in life, but life is so /good/.

The second biggest thing that has happened to me was over a duration of a little over a month, July of this year, in fact. I went back to summer school, and a couple of my housemates stayed to work. I've 'lived' with them for the past year, though I've only really gotten to know them this summer, since we were the only ones around. They have, simply put, shown me a world I did not know existed.

One of them showed me the importance of spontaneity, of randomness, of doing things simply for the hell of it, of always /always/ trying to bring any idea to fruition, and the freedom that trying first, thinking later can bring.

The other showed me the importance of unconditional acceptance, the true valiance of generosity and selflessness, how critical it is to always go out of one's way to make others feel good about themselves and everything around them, to never push anyone down for anything, but to always hoist people up. He could help you turn any dead or failed joke/idea into an amazing one, while keeping the original essence of the thought that you and your wonderful mind came up with - he makes sure that ultimately, the credit is your's. It is very difficult to do; it is a talent of his that I think he is unaware of.

Together they have unknowingly opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibility. I am excited and eager to show every and anyone what I was allowed a quick peep into.


Looking over my posts, I see that the ones I made back in the Spring (March 13th and April 15th, to be exact) are a far cry from my recent ones. Having no goals or direction does not necessarily mean having a meaningless, sad life. Let's see how I do once school comes around. It can just do that to you sometimes.

Sit Down, Hang Tight, Don't Forget to Smile.

The most depressing thing man can accomplish is to go through life on auto-pilot.

Should he return to his seat early [enough], he will find himself in a foreign place far away from where he started, surrounded by things he doesn't understand, amongst people who look familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, people he may have unknowingly wronged. He's clueless; he wasn't flying his plane.

Should he return to his seat too late, he will find that he has coasted through a life that had potential to be rich. Instead he gains from life all that he put into it - nothing. He dies empty.

So I propose man be aware of the life he leads, appreciate all that is good, and embrace all that is bad. Do not numb yourself should you fly into turbulence - you risk flicking on the auto-pilot switch.

Originally written: July 23rd, 2009

Character Strengths

So while I ponder over what to write about, here's a survey you can try out (it's ~200 questions long though..). As I know any description I write will not do it justice, here's what they say on their site:

The VIA Survey of Character (VIA-IS) is the world's most scientifically validated tool* for measuring character strengths. The 240 questions elicit your unique constellation of strengths and identifies your top 5 signature strengths. Signature strengths are those you most frequently express.

----> Take the Survey Here <----
Yes you'll have to register. :\
Also, I recommend you not do the Brief Strengths Test, as it is much less accurate and will just be a waste of your time.

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Here are my results, in brief:

Top Five:
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Gratitude
Modesty and humility
Fairness, equity, and justice
Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness

And for fun,

Bottom Five**:
Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
Social intelligence
Industry, diligence, and perseverance
Bravery and valor
Forgiveness and mercy

My friends like to kid around and say that I'm a cowardly, vengeful person. :p

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*I'd like to note that although this test is scientifically validated, as a personal tool (and without professional evaluation), we can only look at it in hindsight (as in, given the results, we look at ourselves to see if it fits us. Often, we will 'make' it fit us.).
In short, take your results with a grain of salt.

** "Bottom Five" does not mean "Lack Of". It just simply means they did not score as high as your top five. Nothing more. Most people I've shown this survey interpret it as that, and it is sort of funny how they try to make the qualities link together, so I just let them be. :]