Poor Self Image

Appearance is extremely important. Extremely.

Humans are visual creatures. Appearance is the first piece of information we receive about someone (disregarding the internetz). It can be the thing that compels us to say hello, to introduce ourselves; it can be the thing that compels us to stay away, to walk on by.

Appearance gives us clues to one's health. Not only to current health statuses, but even to the quality of their genes. Physical symmetry tells us of good developmental stability. Good personal hygiene, aside from its obvious surface benefits, can tell us that the individual is not suffering from certain mental illnesses.

Evolutionarily speaking, men prefer youthful looking women. Hair is a very important cue. Blonde hair is a good indicator for natural blondes, as their hair often darkens with age. For everyone, sickly, limp hair weighed down with grease does /not/ emit any sense of youthfulness. Shiny, bouncy hair does. Other cues such as high energy levels, clear skin, toned muscles are also good cues to youthfulness and health.

However, although men prefer youthful women, they won't prefer /girls/. That is - keeping in mind I am speaking from the evolutionary point of view - men want women who are fertile. Thus, women who are 'flat-chested' are not viewed as as attractive as those who aren't - they are too similar to young girls. Waist-to-hip ratio is also an important cue. That is, women who's waists are smaller than their hips are viewed as more attractive because they are less likely to have problems conceiving (as well as other benefits such as the lower likelihood of developing heard problems and diabetes). You will notice that a woman who's waist to hip ratio is higher - that is, there is less of a difference - has a body similar to that of a prepubescent's. As in, not fertile, not ready to conceive, not a potential mate.

For the women, signs of good genes in a male would be indicators of high levels of testosterone - deep voice, defined 'eyebrow-ridge' (the term eludes me at the moment), wide shoulders, square jaw, toned muscles.. even the pheromones they emit give women a subconscious clue. Interestingly, as a side note, after conceiving, it has been shown that women prefer males with lower levels of testosterone - a decrease in the likelihood that he would leave her.

As for the uncanny attraction to high incomes, in the hunter-gatherer era, women needed men who could provide resources for them as they tend to offspring. Women are thus attracted to males who show signs of the ability to provide not only for themselves, but for at least two other dependents as well - high statuses, positions of power, physical fitness. This has also been used as an explanation as to why when trying to attract a female, males would give her gifts (to show that he has resources). Much like why a male peacock even bothers to haul around his massive tail - to show that he has been able to get enough resources not only to survive, but to grow and maintain this huge-assed thing (that, and to prove that despite his tail making him extremely vulnerable to predators, he has survived - ie physically fit).

Thus, appearance is important. It logically follows that self-image is a common, potent issue that many people struggle with. We are ingrained to strive to be attractive, to snag that perfect mate, to pass on the best possible genes to our offspring.

But, here are the good news.

Everything I've spoken of up to now taps into our primitive mindset. We have this awesome, more developed brain which.. makes mate selection not so straight forward.

For instance, something as simple as the Mere Exposure Effect dictates that just seeing someone often makes them more attractive.

Intelligence is linked to good genes. Although not the only one, humour is a good indicator of intelligence. Women like men who can make jokes. Men like women who can appreciate their jokes.

From a more personal side of things, I've seen personality and confidence trump appearance time and time again. People are attracted to, and curious about the person who can hold their head up high, rather than the one with their head hanging, and closing themselves off from everyone else. The good thing about this is, confidence is easy to feign. It is also one of the attributes where, if you fake it enough, you will become it. Confidence is irresistible (but, cockiness is absolutely undesirable).

I end off with an interesting fact: the average of all 'plain' faces becomes the most attractive face. That is, attractiveness is the average of averages.




TL;DR - Appearance is a quick and dirty way of assessing one's genetic fitness and general health, thus the obsession and struggle with a good self-image.

Discussion of Religion

Originally posted: July 31st, 2009

I'm a strong supporter for discussing things like religion and politics. As my housemate said, these are things that need to be discussed. It's unfair to stop discussion simply because someone was offended. Fights and wars happen because people do not take the time to understand foreign cultures, religions, views, and each other. Frankly, the ones who were offended shouldn't have been in the first place. That said, the opposing side may have been the ones at fault; if they were, then they should really try to approach things in a different way, consider their words more carefully (ESPECIALLY when arguments are posed in text, where we are unable to view gestures and read faces).

Someone once voiced worry about "I don't see how..." statements:

Doubting the validity of someone's beliefs never bodes well. You can exchange ideas safely and promote a feeling of goodwill, but the second someone says "I don't see how..." you have someone else, a tad offended and/or angry, on the defensive. [sic]

I love asking people about their religions and views; it's an area in which I'm quite curious. It helps me refine my own views, it helps me understand where people are coming from (and ultimately, them), it helps me ask questions about my own beliefs. I think that is important. To question oneself. Fortunately - though rarely - I've bumped into religious people who did not mind my very prying questions, even ridiculous ones such as, "If 6 billion people pray to God every day.. wouldn't he get annoyed or bored about it?", and "Why does God always need us to thank him for things? I see him as more humble than that."

Personally, I think God is a really laid back dude. If you "use his name in vain", or if he is the butt of a joke, I don't think he'll mind - he's not that uptight. If you're questioning him, he won't get pissed off. I think he'll be proud that you can think for yourself. If he exists, and you start to challenge the evidence of his existence, he'll say "Bring it."

Sure he deserves respect, but he's not a spoiled brat.
And if he is - as many people seem to treat him as such, then damn it, we're all screwed.

Reflection.

I have not experienced any personal deaths or tragedies (Grandpas died before I was born, never got a chance / get chances to grow close to my Grandmas, no pet deaths yet, etc), I am not depressive.

However, life has felt extremely empty to me for most of my days. I've abandoned many of my childhood dreams upon realizing I had no capability of achieving them. I could not find passion - or loss - in anything. Life was bland, linear. I was 'going through the motions' (just writing that sentence upsets me).

I major in Psychology. The first big thing that has helped me steer off of the straight, vacant road that was my life was taking an elective in Positive Psychology - pretty much the opposite of what Psychology has turned into these days.

The most relevant thing I got out of that was Mindfulness. Simply put, being /aware/. Not trying to change anything, just.. being aware of all things in life. All things good, and definitely, all things bad. Mindfulness is not being numb to everything, it is the exact opposite. It is ok to be sad. Be aware of it. Notice how you feel, notice your thoughts. But never dwell on it. Notice things, let them pass. Life is certainly something beautiful - once you take the time to notice it. When you can really /see/ things, oftentimes you'll become awestruck, at peace.

Unfortunate events, while indeed crushing, are necessary to lead a rich life. Something that really stuck by me was being pointed out that without bad things, how can good things be good? Without black and white, there is no colour. Unfortunate events provide for us not only enhancement of good things, but also room for learning and growth. Thus, just by being aware of things, my life already did not seem so empty anymore. I still have no goals or direction in life, but life is so /good/.

The second biggest thing that has happened to me was over a duration of a little over a month, July of this year, in fact. I went back to summer school, and a couple of my housemates stayed to work. I've 'lived' with them for the past year, though I've only really gotten to know them this summer, since we were the only ones around. They have, simply put, shown me a world I did not know existed.

One of them showed me the importance of spontaneity, of randomness, of doing things simply for the hell of it, of always /always/ trying to bring any idea to fruition, and the freedom that trying first, thinking later can bring.

The other showed me the importance of unconditional acceptance, the true valiance of generosity and selflessness, how critical it is to always go out of one's way to make others feel good about themselves and everything around them, to never push anyone down for anything, but to always hoist people up. He could help you turn any dead or failed joke/idea into an amazing one, while keeping the original essence of the thought that you and your wonderful mind came up with - he makes sure that ultimately, the credit is your's. It is very difficult to do; it is a talent of his that I think he is unaware of.

Together they have unknowingly opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibility. I am excited and eager to show every and anyone what I was allowed a quick peep into.


Looking over my posts, I see that the ones I made back in the Spring (March 13th and April 15th, to be exact) are a far cry from my recent ones. Having no goals or direction does not necessarily mean having a meaningless, sad life. Let's see how I do once school comes around. It can just do that to you sometimes.

Sit Down, Hang Tight, Don't Forget to Smile.

The most depressing thing man can accomplish is to go through life on auto-pilot.

Should he return to his seat early [enough], he will find himself in a foreign place far away from where he started, surrounded by things he doesn't understand, amongst people who look familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, people he may have unknowingly wronged. He's clueless; he wasn't flying his plane.

Should he return to his seat too late, he will find that he has coasted through a life that had potential to be rich. Instead he gains from life all that he put into it - nothing. He dies empty.

So I propose man be aware of the life he leads, appreciate all that is good, and embrace all that is bad. Do not numb yourself should you fly into turbulence - you risk flicking on the auto-pilot switch.

Originally written: July 23rd, 2009

Planners

Some people just enjoy the process of doing things. A story that really stuck by me is one about a mountain climber. He says the thrill of it is not reaching the top, but the climbing itself. He would always wish that the mountain could go on forever and ever.

I find I am the sort of person who loves to plan out things. I have spent many sleepless nights planning out new projects in my mind, but I've never stayed up to finish the projects I've planned so meticulously for. I have a whole pile of half finished projects.

The solution I have contented myself with - though probably not helped by my procrastinating habits - is.. well, just knowing that my interests lie in the process. I've accepted the fact that this absolutely amazing idea that keeps running through my head probably will never get done, and no one will ever see it. So I just happily plan away, maybe actually get started on it (because it's so darn amazing! :p), but I won't kick myself for not finishing it.

Another solution I've been fiddling with, though it hasn't proven to work every time, is to skip the planning step. I've never planned for a single painting in my life (the brainstorming, the composition sketches, the colour studies... yuck), because it ruins everything. Just dive into your project, and if you happen upon any bumps due to lack of planning, then fix it on the spot! It makes things more interesting (unpredictability!) and fun anyways.


Originally written: August 5th, 2009

Running

Contrary to what has been believed for many years, people can grow more neurons. Neurogenesis does occur, and a study by Praag et al. (1999) has shown in rats that running increases the production of neurons the most (compared to swimming, water-maze training, and an enriched environment with toys).
This increase in cell proliferation can occur as soon as 24 hours after the rats exercise. So if we extrapolate this to the human brain, one can say that if you're looking to grow some more neurons, your best bet would be through running.

I am extremely unhappy.

Extremely.

:'C